Just remembering some scenes from some of the anime I've been watching lately, particularly some of the first kisses -- Keita and Kazuki from Gakuen Heaven, when they finally realize they're in love, against a sky full of stars during a meteor shower, or Kei and Ranmaru from Kizuna: Much Ado About Nothing in a flashback to their junior high days, and that first kiss in the dojo, Kei being nonchalant and Ranmaru being shy and eager at the same time -- and how satisfying I find those scenes. (Yes, behind that ball-buster persona is an old softie.)
And then I realize that there are people out there who think that sort of think is disgusting, perverted, and marks the end of all that's holy. It's just an example, I guess, of how your point of view can warp your perceptions, with the understanding that my point of view in this is the correct one. After all, two people falling in love and sharing their first kiss: what could be sweeter?
I also realize that I've been reviewing these things, particularly at Epinions, without disclaimers -- if male/male romances offend you, don't buy the book, is my attitude, and if you can't even deal with reading about it in a review, you need serious intervention. It's a political statement, for sure: as far as I'm concerned, these are perfectly legitimate stories about perfectly legitimate situations, and anyone who thinks they have some right to judge us for it can just take a hike. (Hmm -- seems the ball-buster isn't too deeply hidden.)
It all reminds me of a scene from real life, several years ago: Walking down Halsted Street in Chicago's Boys' Town, I encountered a couple of punked-up teenagers walking down the street holding hands. In that neighborhood, no big deal, but they were fierce and defiant, and I wanted to cheer. Instead, I just gave them my biggest, happiest grin and said hello. (As I recall, they straightened up and started walking a bit prouder. Made me feel good.)
So, yes, it is politics, and I think it's the stance we need to take: no apologies, no excuses, this is what we are: people who fall in love. And after fighting my way through all the crap I had to deal with as a boy and young man, if there were a guy in my life right now, I'd have no hesitation in walking down the street holding his hand and to hell with what anyone else thinks about it: it's about us, not you.
4 comments:
By the Goddess, THANK YOU!!! Everything you said in that post was on target as far as I am concerned....I live in a repressive small city in the Midwest that disapproves of such things as same-sex couples kissing or holding hands. I would add that gay activists (I am, too) get too caught up in the politics of compromise to please str8 conservatives by being as str8-acting as possible. The inevitable landing off that cliff, where your butt hits the ground, is that we cease to be gay at all--just a bunch of folks who live with other people of the same sex and nothing else: no kissing, no fights, no thrown plates at the wall (yes, I have done that)....Sometimes a new attitude, better attitude can be had by a phrase or two to go off in a new direction: "it is about us and not them." Finally someone said it, spoke the truth to str8s' discomfort and bias.
Thanks very much for your comment -- it's the sort of thing I want to hear.
It's not acting straight, so much -- after all, that's the model we have, and I'm not even sure what that means any more -- but denying essential parts of ourselves to fit in. (I happen to think we have a really weird attitude about PDAs in this country -- not that I'm advocating screwing on the sidewalk, but if you love someone, dammit, show him that you love him -- and show the world, as well: it's something that should be celebrated.)
As I mentioned, it's taken a lifetime for me to fight my way past a lot of crap into realizing that there's no reason to hide who I am, and that includes loving men -- hell, I don't just love them, they are a constant delight and revelation to me.
And I've finally learned a little bit about what loving is. Part of that is romance, little things like walking down the street holding his hand because he is, after all, the man you love and it feels good to do that. And romance is good for keeping love alive. And by now, I really could care less about raised eyebrows -- I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
Yes, I think you're absolutely right about the "just like everyone else" thing that the national gay organizations fall into. We're not like everyone else, not completely -- that's the whole point.
It is about us. It's time we realized that.
Man this everything I have wanted to say for such a long long time. Yes it is about us and not them. Hell if they don't like the "line in the sand" so to speak, they drew it first. I will go down the street and hold my boyfriend's hand and there isn't one damn thing they can really do about it. Maybe say something but I always have a comment to come back with. That's just me and my attitude I have developed after having to put up with so much BS in this religious conservative town I happen to call home for now. God please grant me the patience to deal with it a little while longer and then I am out of here.
Sorry -- late getting back to this, which I had intended to do some while ago.
It's important, I think, to be visible. In some places it's dangerous, and everyone has to make his own decision on that score, but it's also the best counter to what the anti-gay right is trying to do, which is make us less than human.
We need to be out there, as ourselves, with no shame and no excuses. We needn't flaunt anything -- we'll be accused of that anyway -- but if people see that in everything that matters we're not so different from them, the right wing starts to lose traction and looks more and more like what it is: power-hungry bigots.
And that's all good.
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